"The More boys I meet, the more I love my dog"

Well I found a dress and a date for that dance. And I have to admit at first I wasn't excited to be going, I was only going because a friend wanted me to go, but as the shopping and planning began I was getting excited. I could no longer contain the teenage girl part of me.

Only a few days after buying the dress and getting dinner plans and everything else all sorted out, I found out that my "date" was insuring people (people that weren't even his friends or mine) that he would have me in bed within two months. Now I no longer have a date to the dance and now I REALLY just don't want to go. I'm really starting to wonder if I can ever trust a guy. My mom keeps trying to get me to find a new date to the dance. I don't think she fully understands why I don't want to go now. 

I don't get it. I don't present myself as a girl who will just sleep with anyone, especially at such a young age. I mean everyday I wear a sweatshirt and jeans with a pair of tennis shoes. I don't wear makeup or style my hair to be all fancy. I just don't get it. Every new guy that I talk to now I can't help but think that they have an alternative plan because it seems like lately they have.

--------------------------------

I quit club soccer. I know you guys don't approve but I finally made my own choice about something and I didn't let you guys decide or help me decide. I'm not your little girl anymore. I need to make my own mistakes now so that I can learn from them. I understand that sometimes the parents know whats best but sometimes what is best is to let me make my own choice and let me deal with the outcome of it.This doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. You're my mom and dad. I will always love you.

-------------------------------

Sorry I haven't posted in more than a week but I haven't been able to come up with a good way of saying this until now.

Fun Times

This week was a great week and it's not even over.

1) studied like crazy for finals, it payed off.  :) 100% on the presidents test and foods final. My science final could have gone better but it didn't affect my overall grade so I'm okay with that I guess.
2) Found a date to tolo. I think my parents will approve of him. he's a good kid.
3) went and saw that movie after school today with my friend. We saw Woman In Black. We couldn't stop laughing during the previews because there no one else there and it was so quiet! That never actually happens in the theaters.
4) Tomorrow my mom and I are going dress shopping. It should be fun. Maybe we will go out for lunch.
5) Sunday is Super Bowl. I'm going to a party at my friends house that her parents have every year, it's always a lot of fun.
6) To make things even better the last couple of days have felt like spring. A jacket wasn't required to go outside for just a couple of minutes. 

Compared my usual posts this is a short one, it's also a little different. Hope you guys like it :)

A New Chapter?

Yesterday and today were both awesome days. People that I didn't want to see were not at school. I also got introduced to a couple new people who seem really nice and hopefully we can become good friends. I am determined to make the rest of the week good even though I have three finals on Thursday. (History, Science, Foods) History test wont be hard as long as I study because we just have to memorize the presidents. I am most worried about the science so I will have to study for it but I know what to study for because the teacher told us what is on the test. We actually started our foods final today because it's a 2-part final. Today was the cooking part of it and tomorrow we finish cooking and eat what we made. My group choose to make cheesecake, which I'm not a big fan of but it looked good so maybe I'll like it. On Thursday we have the second part of the final. Our teacher told us it would just be an easy multiple choice test though. Friday grades come out and it is the end of the first semester.
----------------------------------------
Tolo (girls choice dance) is on the 25th and my friend really wants me to get a date so that we can go on a double date together. I think it will be fun but I don't want to ask a guy and then go through the whole he meets my parents and everything....I guess tomorrow the search is on for a date.

Have you ever wished you were home schooled? Not because it is easier or anything like that but so that you wouldn't have to deal with drama in high school? I know I sure have. I try not to get involved in the drama but this year it seems like I'm always a part of it. Sometimes it just flat out sucks.

Was it really necessary for you come up to me today just to tell me you have a sleeping buddy? For some reason I don't fell like it was. You haven't even talked to me since that day. What was the point in doing that? To hurt me? You already did that. Did you do it to make me regret my choice? I will never regret my choice. I wouldn't have even had to make the choice if you hadn't put me in the situation. I know you blame it on me but really it's your fault for making me have to say no when you already knew how I felt about the topic.

  Don't remember me when she forgets you


There is nothing better than coming home to a puppy who cant wait for you to pick her up. It's the best ending to a bad day of school.

She is getting so big but she will always be my puppy.

Escape

The pressure of being successful early in life today is sometimes unbelievable. Good grades, perfect appearance, the "right" friends, etc. The pressure everyday is sometimes unbearable. Being a teen is hard. When you say to your parents "I want to grow up" and they always reply with "no you don't" or "enjoy it while it lasts." Today teens really do want to grow up so that they can escape this stage of life. They just want the relief. Graduation requirements are tougher, colleges are expensive. A lot kids that can get into an Ivy league school won't be able to go just because their family can't pay for it. But if education is the most important thing, why do they make it so hard to get that education? Especially after High School.

It's not just the pressure of school though, it's also the pressure of society. Society teaches us that being different is wrong. So instead we try to be like someone else. The person that is perfect. Whether it's a famous person or the most popular kid in school. But when you try to live as someone else you lose yourself and your control. Today everyone is expected to be skinny and if you aren't you get teased. But being "fat" isn't bad, neither is being skinny. Everyone is different and everyone's body reacts differently.

Society also teaches us that being wrong is bad. From the time we can speak if we say something wrong or do something wrong we are scolded and corrected. We aren't given the chance to learn from our mistake, we just know that it was a mistake. School teaches us that we have to get it right the first time or not at all with the grading system. You have to learn from your mistake to become wise, wisdom doesn't just happen because you're old. But we can't learn from our mistakes when we are young because mistakes are bad.

"A winner is one who accepts his failures and mistakes, picks up the pieces, and continues striving to reach his goals."

If you could go anywhere to escape reality where would you go? I would go to the moon.

A change in direction?

Do you think that you are going to grow up and have one career but deep down feel like you are meant for something else? Something else that your family just doesn't expect and would probably mess with you if you told them you wanted to do this thing instead of the other thing? For the longest time I have wanted to be a wildlife photographer and while I think I could do it and everything I don't want to be even remotely famous. I hate being in front of crowds and once you become famous you can say bye-bye to any private life you once had. It's like I have this little voice telling me that I should be a therapist or something related to a therapist. I don't know why, I haven't had the greatest experiences with therapists/counselors in the past. But the more time that goes on and the more experiences I have the more I feel like being a therapist is the right direction for me. And instead of doing photography full time just doing it off to the side. I have never thought that I was the kind of person to present myself as someone that you can tell anything to and completely trust, but I must. I mean it's not "normal" for a 26 year old to tell a teenager all their problems and ask for their advice after knowing them for 10 minutes, is it? The problem with this? If I told my mom she would probably laugh in my face because she doesn't think I know how to deal with people that I am just meeting for the first time. My friends don't even know about this because to them I have always been their friend the future photographer not their friend the future therapist. Then again maybe I'm just saying all of this because it's after midnight. I guess I'll find out some day when I become a photographer or therapist. Who knows maybe I'll be a garbage truck driver.

Today was a great day, surprisingly. School was canceled because of snow and ice so I went on an early morning walk with a friend. It was really cold. I had a dentist appointment and that went fine. On the way home we got rear-ended. We were stopped at a crosswalk when the girl behind us ran into us. She was messing with her radio and when she looked up she said we were just there and she couldn't stop. Luckily nobody was hurt. We were in our truck and she was in a little car. She messed up the front corner of her car while our truck just got a little bit of white paint on the bumper that could be wiped off. When I got home I took my quad out and went riding in the snow. But I live in the middle of town and it isn't technically legal to ride in town. I think someone called the cops on me so I headed home and put the quad away. That's okay though because my hands were really cold. It looks like school will be canceled again tomorrow. We are supposed to get more snow tonight and throughout the day tomorrow. At this rate we may not have school for the rest of the week.